Your breath whistles through your teeth as you run down the hill, evil horse-monkeys in hot pursuit. You grab a branch overheard, shooting a glance over your shoulder to make sure they’re not quite on your tail yet, and haul yourself into the tree. Just as the foliage covers your cherry-red sneakers, the horse-monkeys gallop past you, shouting something about bananas and payment. You lean … Continue reading The Writer’s Departed Groove
So you’ve got an idea: cat-lover saves the world from gum-spitting bees. The bees spit half-chewed gum at the cats and people of the world, trapping them in a disgusting, sticky prison. Your protagonist decides to defeat the bees to save the cats. Three hours later, you come up with a gorgeous outline, complicated characters and enough gum-spitting action to satisfy the Violet girl from Charlie … Continue reading World Building: Snark, Tips and Sarcasm
It’s funny how pressing the delete button can be so easy at times, and so hard at other times. Sometimes, you’ve written this gorgeous (if you do say so yourself) description, full of heartbreak and grief, so of course you don’t want to delete it. It’s art! It’s your legacy! It’s…completely out of character. So, what do you do? You put it in the bloopers. … Continue reading Bloopers, Writing and Crying…Oh My!
I am a student; I am a writer; I am stressed as fuck. The stress goes with the territory though, so I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Now, people are always talking about how hard it is to work and write at the same time, and I feel for them, truly. It’s stressful to have only yourself to depend on for your living, … Continue reading Studying vs. Writing: The Battle of the Century
So you’re a writer! Congratulations. Welcome to the club- you won’t be enjoying your stay. You see, when you’re making up a story, it’s all fun and games; you’ve got nice characters, a nice setting, a nice plot. It’s only when you start writing a story that everything goes to hell. As worshippers of the goddess of Fiction, we must show our devotion to her … Continue reading How To Exorcise Your Story
So, you’ve outlined, you’ve written, you’ve conquered. Now what? Now is the time to edit, and when you’re editing, guess what happens? That’s right, you fucking cry because your manuscript is a mess and a half. Unless you’re me- then it’s 3.75 messes. No regrets. I was rewriting one of my action scenes, glibly minding my own business when WHAM! An intrusive Fuckicus you bee … Continue reading What to Do When Your Plot is Wrong